so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize