seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
