so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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