I think scott just propositioned me for sex
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
