I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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