I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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