They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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