i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize