Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
