apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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