i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
