It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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