Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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