So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
