I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize