And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
