She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
