just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
