I faked an abortion last night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
