dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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