He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Houston, we have a squirter
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
