Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
