he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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