11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
