The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
