Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
