I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
