Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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