i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dignity is for republicans.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
