The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
