Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize