that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
