As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
