I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
