I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
