So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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