party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Two words: blizzard sex
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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