My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
