My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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