RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
