i was born a porn star she said
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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