big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
