i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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