There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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