I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
