I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's the barista slut.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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