Me. At least after what I've been through.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
