god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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