they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
