1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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