my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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