Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
