Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
