i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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