News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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