we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize