Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
