I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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