Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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