My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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