I cockslap morals
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Couch. On fire.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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