You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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