talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
