I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
